Saturday, August 15, 2009

army strong

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I deservedly linked up with a knowledgeable recruiter, Sgt. D.. Experienced in getting people into the 432nd Civil Affairs Battalion, he is my man.

Conflicts exist between gov't financial resources and the need for my kind of people to 'support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me' Allah. It will end once Congress and the President see eye to eye on the upcoming budget in October. Tangent: What kind of fire-breathing lunatics will we see once the media stops stroking health care and moves onto budget issues? Stay tuned to Jon, Stephen and Glenn to deal with the mayhem.

Sgt. D. expects training slots to open once the overseas contingency has it's budget, i.e., I should be banging out push-ups at Fort Jackson, SC in November or January. Graduation and then onto Advanced Individual Training (AIT) at Fort Bragg, NC . Glorious is the day I turn up at Fort Bragg! I'll be with my people!

5 most ridiculous things I've said since deciding to join the Army:

1. 'I'd like to join the Army'.
2. When I realized my recruiter wasn't taking a 40-year old, divorced female seriously: 'I'm not fucking around'.
3. During a briefing prior to taking the physical, my recruiter explained the dress code, noting no thongs: 'You should stop thinking about me in a thong'. Friends suggested I go commando or camouflage. Thanks for the ideas! :)
4. While at the physical, I noticed I didn't need a pregnancy test with the other female, 20 something year old, future soldiers. I asked why and the nurse said it was because of my age: 'Oh, I thought it was because I became a virgin again'.
5. My new recruiter asked why I wanted Civil Affairs specifically. After explaining why, he wondered if a job as a chaplain's assistant with the same battalion would be a possibility: 'Mmmmm, is the chaplain Jewish?'


  1. Sgt D.? The only one I know is, Sgt. Discharge. Could it be the same?

  2. They're both bad-ass! I'm linking Sgt. D to Sgt Discharge now. thanks for the champ-ion memories.